I’m going to scream of joy
when this week
is over.

I’m been angry
this week.
And frustrated.
And stressed.
And embarrassed.

I was sitting in the
family room
trying to study.
Usually, I can do
homework
anywhere.
I can tune people out
and go into my own
happy place.
Not lately.
I get distracted
and irritated.
I’ve needed space.
Somewhere that is
only mine.
There isn’t one room
in this house that
doesn’t have people
coming in and out…
I thought.
Except my room.
But during the winter,
not even the spiders
can live in my room.
It’s freezing.
I felt like I was going
to explode this week.
I needed my own place.
I don’t get how people
can marry right out
of high school.
I’d die.
The other day,
I was desperate.
No one really uses
the upstairs bathroom…
I thought.
I ran upstairs,
took out the dirty towels,
wiped the counter,
cleaned the toilet,
and placed my textbooks
on the tile floor.
I locked the door,
and for four hours,
I studied.
No one knocked.

The bathroom has been
my friend lately.
I’ve been taking showers
when I’m frustrated.
You can’t help me with
homework?
Shower.
What’s that?
My hair is poofy?
Shower.
Yeah, that’s right,
I don’t know the answer,
dimwit. Get on
with the lesson,
and stop jabbin’ at me.
Shower.

This week,
I wished people would have
left me alone.
I can’t party all the time.
I have to be alone
for a bit.
And it’s not that
I get sick of people,
or that I don’t love them.
I hope my husband
will understand that.

Complain, complain.

There were a couple good things
about this week.
I made friends with someone
I’ve been wanting
to be friends with.
He reminded me of people
from my old school
the first time I saw him.
Converse,
shaggy hair sticking up
in the back,
and baggy pants.
We started talking this week.
He plays a freaking
buttload of instruments.
He reads all the time.
He listens to Led Zeppelin,
The Rolling Stones,
and Neil Young.
He gets straight A’s.
I asked him how he does it all
and still gets straight gets
good grades.
“I just prioritize,” he said.
That’s it? That’s it?

I’ve written a list
of everything I want to do
this year,
and how I’m going to do it.
I’ve written out
how many hours
I’m going to study a day.
I’m not going to sit around
on the weekends.

I gotta do something
with my life.
This is all because of
my new friend.
It’s funny how much
one person
can do for you.

It’s late late late.

Wish me luck on
Crump’s test tomorrow.

3 Comments


  1. I’m someone who has to be alone. It took Ed a while to come to grips with it. But he eventually did.

    I used to have the same problem at my house (8 kids, 2 parents). I used to go in the laundry room. It wasn’t completely unused, but less than the rest of the house.

    Good luck!

    Reply

  2. i am to lazy to do that.

    Reply

  3. Anne, all you have to do is come over. The basement is yours. It’s quiet. You don’t have to live your life there, but everyone needs a quiet place sometimes.

    Reply

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