This is Horton.
I got him from Lagoon
two years ago.
That Lagoon trip
started every bad
memory that happened
that summer.
Maybe in years to come
I will tell you
why that Lagoon trip
was so horrible.
But right now,
I am still humiliated
and guilty,
and don’t want to
talk about it.
While I was cleaning
my room the other day,
I found Horton
shoved in a drawer
along with
Kit-Kat wrappers,
a dirty sock,
and all sorts of
disgusting things
people shove in
drawers.
I felt guilty again.
All the emotions
from two years before
came jumping
into my head.
What an idiot
I was.
I threw Horton
into the garbage.
But then,
I had a better idea.
Burn him!

So that’s what I did.
I burned Horton.

Harrison and I
watched him burn.
I pretended each part
of his body
was a different
bad memory.
Ope, his arm’s burning.
One bad memory lost.
Ope, his stomach’s burning.
Another gone.

So that’s the story of Horton.

Today is Tasia’s birthday.
Ana and I both went
to her house
and watched Becoming Jane.
I, of course, was
the last one to
fall asleep.
Earlier today,
Tasia and I went on a walk.
I took pictures.
A group of kids
were walking on the ice
on the lake.
We watched them
and prayed they wouldn’t
fall in.
Finally,
I yelled at one
to get off the ice.
I told him that dogs
have died by
walking on the ice
and he weighed more
than the dogs
that had fallen in.
“Uhh, yeah, thanks for
your concern!”
he yelled back.
He acted like we were
stupid.
“Whatever,” Tasia yelled,
“It’s your life!”

I am thankful for Tasia.
I am thankful that I
moved here
so I could meet her.
I am thankful
for her
spunky personality.
At 12 midnight,
Tasia looked at us
and said,
“You guys… I’m sixteen!”
Ana and I both gasped
and yelled back,
“You’re sixteen!”
Like I said before,
time is going by
too quickly.
I still remember
seventh grade.
When I met Tasia
in fourth period
math class.
Soon,
we’ll both be
out the door.
Going to different
colleges.
“Most people in
high school
you never
see again,” my
grandma said.
Sniff.

Lately I’ve been thinking
about how alone we are.
We live in a world full
of groups, communities,
and families,
but all people are individuals,
with individual thoughts.
We are on our own
in this life.
No one can ever understand
what one thinks,
and why they act in
certain ways.
We have parents that
raised us,
long-lasting friends,
and even them
don’t know us fully.
It is impossible for one
to be completely understood.

I don’t know if this
even makes sense to you.
Kind of depressing,
though.

3 Comments


  1. It’s true no one fully knows another person. In that sense, we are truly alone. But then there’s the inexplicable love. Who knows how that works, but it makes all the difference.


  2. Anne,
    I want you to know that there is not a day gone by where I don’t think about how greatful I am to have met you and become your friend. I don’t know where I would be today without you.
    You are my best friend, and the thought of losing you is too hard to even fathom. College is only two years away, and you might be going to Germany. That will be so great, but I will miss you terribly!!
    I love you deeply, and I swear, I am going to Columbia U. I know the road ahead is hard, and life is waiting for all of us, but I don’t want to lose you.
    There is alot more I could say, maybe I’ll just blog about it.
    I love ya, and always will!!


  3. It makes perfect sense!
    What I find funny is that, on the same day, Tasia, you, and I, all wrote blogs about our fear of the future. I think that’s way crazy that we’ve all been thinking about it so deep.
    Hm.
    Merry Christmas, by the way.
    Still adore your blog.

    I love the pictures you took of Tasia. Theyre beautiful. (:

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