That’s right.

I went to German class.
We were doing
group projects and…
you already know
my opinions about
group projects.
We had to act out
a scene from a book
and interpret it into
our own personality.
On Monday,
I was with Eric, Nicki,
Paige, and Rachel.
Eric and Nicki
are the most fun people
to act with.
I was excited.
Then Frau Christopher
came over and said,
“You have too many
people in your group.
One of you need to move.”
She looked straight
at Rachel.
I feel bad for Rachel.
She is one of those girls
that you just feel bad for.
She has
dirty blonde hair
always pulled up
into a pony tail.
She wears no make up,
plain clothes,
and has bad acne.
Everyone just thinks
she’s weird
because of
the way she looks,
and talks.
Rachel said, “Y’know Frau,
I really just want
to be in this group.”
So, Rachel wasn’t going
to move.
My cue.
“I’ll go!”
Frau looked at me,
“Thanks Anne,
you’re with those two.”
I looked over and saw
Anthony and this
other girl.
Anthony has ADD major.
It’s really hard for him
to concentrate.
When I came over,
Anthony said, “Sorry Frau
made you switch.”
“Nope!” I said, “I chose.”
The other girl looked at me
and didn’t smile.
“Well, we should get started.
How about we do
Chapter…”
“You’re kind of a prep girl,
aren’t you?” The girl asked.
For some reason,
this surprised me.
I’ve never really
thought of myself
as a prep.
I had a grey shirt on,
black skinny jeans,
and converse.
I was wearing mascara
and blush…
But don’t most girls?
“Haha, what?”
She shrugged at me
and looked down at
the book.
I told them some ideas
and they (well Anthony)
said the ideas would work.
Frau Christopher left
the room for ten minutes
or so.
During this,
the girl’s girlfriend came in.
“Hey hun,” she said.
Then right in front
of my eyes,
they started making out.
In the classroom.
In front of me.
My cheeks immediately
went red.
I was definitely
not expecting this.
Making out is never
a pretty thing to watch.
Plus, it was
in the classroom.
Frau Christopher
could walk in any moment.
I turned to Anthony.
He glanced over at them
with no expression
on his face,
and looked back down
at his paper.
My heart was beating.
How could they just
do that?
If I were to start
going at it like that,
I’d be chomping on
some tic-tacs or something.
I was scared someone
would see my red face
and start laughing.
I looked around.
Everyone was talking
with one another,
not paying attention
to the two girls
getting all touchy-feely
in the corner.
Making out is so gross.

Any way. That was Monday.

So today,
we did the act.
Anthony and the girl
did nothing.
They talked monotone.
They didn’t move.
I was supposed to do
my part,
which was to act all
“I don’t care”,
but that’s what both of
them were doing.
At the end, Frau looked at me.
“What were you guys doing
during the twenty minutes
I gave you to work?”
I sat there in silence.
“Did you practice?”
“Yeah,” Anthony said.
“Well, I highly doubt that.”
She looked at me in silence
for a very long time.
Why was it my fault?
She was disappointed
in me.
We sat back in our desks.
I sat there thinking why
she stared at me
for so long,
and through her eyes,
blamed it all on me.
My cheeks were burning
and my eyes were
swelling up.
I had a D in this class.
A freaking D.
I needed the points,
and I just failed 100.
I got out a notebook
and started writing.

I hate this, I hate this, I hate this.
I’m in German and so angry,
I’m almost in tears.
I hate this class, I hate I had
to switch groups,
I hate I have to tell everyone what to do,
and they never do it.
I hate being nice all of the time.
After this class,
I have Chemistry which I hate even more.
That stupid class
that makes my face burn
everytime I talk to the teacher,
who makes me feel stupid.
I’m holding my breath so
I won’t cry.
I hate crying in front of people.
I hate crying.
There’s a bookshelf next to Frau’s desk
full of unused books,
and unused tapes.
I want to knock it over
so all of the books will scatter
across the room and
all of the unused bindings
will break,
the unused pages will bend,
and the unused tapes
will scratch.
And it won’t matter,
because it’s all useless,
like everything else
in this smelly room.

Lunch time is in
the middle of German class.
I walked downstairs
when a girl stopped me.
“You. This is for you.”
She handed me a letter.
“We want you to join
the newsletter team.”
“What?” Confused.
“Yeah, Mr. Bogyn wants you
to join.”
Who the heck is that?
“Uh, how did you get
my name?” I asked.
“Your English teacher told us
about you.”
Ms. Sell.
My eyes were swelling again.
Mr. Whoever wanted me
to be a part of the Newspaper.
And Ms. Sell
told them about me.
I thought she didn’t like me.
“If you want to do it,
Talk to Mr. Bogyn.
It’s sixth period
next semester.”
I was so happy.
I could have kissed her.
“That sounds great!
Wow, that’s awesome…”
Then I remembered.
Sixth period next semester
was AP German.
“Oh no.”
“What’s the prob?”
“I’ll have to see.
But this sounds great.
Really, thanks a bunch.”
I walked to my table.
And… Well, cried.
“Dude, what’s wrong
with you?” Chase asked.
I laughed over my tears.
“She’s PMS-ing,” Erik said,
then leaned over
to kiss my forehead.
Landon threw a piece of
lettuce at my face.
Eric, Landon, and Chase
didn’t think it was
a big deal
that I was just
sitting there crying,
which was kind of nice
about the whole deal.
“Just an emotional breakdown,”
I said and smiled.
Then I looked up at Travis.
He was scared shitless.
“Anne?” Travis said.
“Travis, I’m fine. Really.
Have you ever seen a girl
cry before? You look
like you’re gonna start
crying with me.”
He looked sympathetic.
Y’know, the smile,
but with sad eyes.
“Should I tell stories?”
“Yes.” I said back.
The rest of the time,
Travis sat there and
told stories about his two years
living in Germany,
how it was living in Texas,
and that one hiking trip
when he gained ten pounds.
I was feeling better.
After school,
I had to make up a work out
with Nicki.
I turned the corner
and saw Ana and Travis.
Ana had texted me earlier
and asked if I was alright.
She said she was
going to stay with me
after school to talk.
And… apparently Travis
came with her.
So embarrassing.
I found out that Travis
just missed the bus
and his friend was
coming to pick him up.
He hadn’t stayed to talk to me.
But after that,
I felt a lot better.

I think I’m just stressed
once again.
What can you do?

So today was my no good,
very bad day.
Tomorrow will be much better. =)

5 Comments


  1. Aw Anne.
    I just want to cry.
    I feel so stupid, and oblivious. You could have come ot talk to me during German. What you wrote in your notebook just makes me feel so terrible!
    I am so so so sorry.
    But you know what?
    AP German isn’t gonna be ANY better than German 3, and School Paper will look just as good as that on your resume’.
    so SHOOT FOR IT!
    Do the school newpaper. Seriously.
    I want it for you.
    I do.
    (:
    You are inspirational.
    I don’t even know what to say. I still feel bad. But you’re so amazing, really.


  2. Well, I would say that you weren’t exaggerating too much about that WORST day. The two girls making out pretty well did it for me. I think you could explain to your teacher what happened on “the project.” I’m surprised that she didn’t get it. I agree with your friend, Kiki, you might want to consider the school paper. You’d be great for that. A big hug coming your way.


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  4. Anne, if you even read these comments, or mine, and take it into thought, I just want you to know, if I was still there, I would be your go-to girl, well that is if you wanted to, because I know you have better friends, like Ana, Megan, Taisa and other people, but if you ever need to talk, cry-talk, just call me. I’m always here to listen. Always. And I would be red in the face if I was watching those two girls too. I mean, that’s just gross, and people making out is gross. Private is where they should do it. Ha.


  5. Well you did have a rotten day. And you had it because you were trying to save Rachel from leaving the group. You were being good–and in the end, your intentions are more important than that bad day. I don’t have any quick answers, but we have a pile of chocolate chip cookies and milk here if you want to chat. There are people around here, you know, who adore you.

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