I’ve written this post and erased it, and written it again and erased it again, and written it again and bawled my eyes out, then erased it again.

So. To make a long story short- It was about the older women I know (middle aged, and a bit older). How much I sympathize for many of them, and how angry I am at others.

Yesterday, I wanted to scream. I wanted to say, “BE HAPPY WITH WHO YOU ARE! JUST BE HAPPY! STOP MAKING ME WORRY ABOUT YOU ALL THE TIME! I SHOULDN’T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT YOU ALL THE TIME! I’M SIXTEEN! I SHOULD BE WORRYING ABOUT MYSELF!”

But I didn’t scream. I just went up into my room and cried. And worried some more.

So I woke up this morning and felt like crying again. Because today I don’t feel like screaming. I just want them to know that I love them. Many of them are my favorite people.

I wish people were more happy with themselves. I wish they had hope.

And that’s all I want to say about it.
________________________

Updates.

1. Curt, Harrison, and I went to the roof and saw satellites.

“Curt, look! That star is moving.”
“No it’s not.”
“Yes it is. It keep getting closer to the stars over there.”
“No it’s not.”
“Curt, I”m serious. Look.”
“Anne, that’s the North star.”
“… … … Oh.”

But we really did see satellites. Promise.

2. The German Scholarship program has made a group on Facebook. A lot of the students have joined, which makes it so I can chat with them online. It has been fun getting to know the kids who I’ll be living with for the first month. My one good friend on the program is named Micky. I am excited to meet him and everyone else at the airport. Beyond excited. 46 days.

3. A tablespoon of cinnamon is impossible to swallow. At least is was impossible for me. Can you do it?

4. Word Challenge is a game on Facebook and I am determined to get a better score than Micky. He is winning… by a couple thousand points.

5. Loira’s gone. Ana’s gone. Tasia’s gone. Wes is gone. Who knows what Megan’s doing. Who knows what Erich’s doing. I miss my neighborhood friends.

6. I have been studying and know all of the 16 parts of Germany. (Are they called states? I should look at that up.) Now, I need to study the capitals and I’ll be just fine.
________________________

Curtis on quote. Really weird:

“My nipple is ALREADY exposed on Facebook.”

“I’m wearing white underwear that looks like tighty whities. It kind makes me feel like a little kid again. I love it,” says Curtis.

“Nose hair.”

“I do NOT look like Ashton Kutcher!”

“It’s from the deepest dunkest part of my body. I mean heart.”
________________________

I don’t feel like writing. But just so you know, I drove on the freeway today. For three hours. All the way to Pocatello, Idaho. Only got beeped at once. Every part of my body is soar from being so tense.

And now here I am babysitting.

2 Comments


  1. Stop worrying and crying over your neurotic loved ones. Really.

    Reply

  2. Careful. 46 days goes fast 🙂 ily.

    Reply

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