I hate NOT writing.
It’s been too long. But really, I don’t have anything to talk about. I feel like a narcissist. I don’t feel like a good writer. I’ve already used the word “I” six times in this blog and I (seven) just don’t feel like writing.
Now stop counting the “I”s. Lemme try writing.
The thing that sucks about LEAVING is that LEAVING is the only thing anyone talks about. And I shouldn’t complain, because Leaving really IS the only thing to talk about. In fact, I’m usually the one to bring up me LEAVING.
I can tell my parents and siblings are sick of the “Leaving” topic.
“Do you think there will be drama in the monastery?”
“When do you think I’ll get my host family?”
“Do I not have a host family because I’m mormon?”
“Is my shy side gonna come out?”
“What happens if I break out in zits and can’t find good medicine?”
“What if my roommate and I don’t get along?”
“What if I get lost during my layover and get stuck in Cincinnati?”
Blah blah blah. Blah blah. Blah.
Waiting for my life to start. 8 more days.
It’s been a hard month, dear bloggers. The “getting over Will” phase has finally ended, but the boy problems keep going. Four guys constantly text me and ask to hang out for “only 15 minutes. Alone.” I ask, “What are we going to do in 15 minutes?”
Huh. 15 minutes.
The thing is, usually I could take all this. Usually I could stand up to manipulative and hormonal guys who just want a make out session. But right now, I have no emotional energy. Too many other things to worry about. Too much stress. Too many people to see. Too many doctors appointments and shots. Really. I’m done with my American social life for now.
My sleeping schedule is totally off.
In bed at 3:30 A.M. Sit and think for another half hour. Sleep. Wake up at 10:30. Talk to Mom and siblings. Go back to bed at 12. Wake up at 4. Sit on computer. Pack. Etc, Etc. Then go to bed at 3:30 A.M. Nicht gut.
So because of this, I have more control about the things I dream about during the afternoon. Cause you’re not totally asleep, but mostly daydreaming in bed with your eyes closed. I dream/daydream about Hedersleben. Meeting my best buddy at the airport, along with all the others. Who sound absolutely wonderful. I also picture my roommate. Could it be Nida, the hilarious ghosthunter? Amelia, the beautiful blue-eyed girl with gages? Caitlin, the chick who chills in bathtubs full of ice? Whoever it is, it’s going to be great. Hedersleben is going to be great.
And who knows how the rest of the nine months will go. We’ll just have to see when I get my host family.
Lookie there! I wrote! Don’t worry. I’ll write during the year. You’ll see a glimpse of my Germany life.