This week one of the German teachers came into our class and told us about the Congress-Bundestag Youth Exchange for college students. He brought an alumni CBYXer who had done the High School exchange. I knew who he was the minute he walked in. He went the year before me and had added me on Facebook to answer any questions I had before Germany. I facebook stalked the crap out of him.

He told us about his own experience with the exchange. The little Dorf in Magdeburg called Hedersleben, and (with a big grin) how all of the exchange students lived in a monastery, how he didn’t know who his family was until three days before leaving Hedersleben, the seminars—how they went to Köln in the winter and Berlin in the summer, etc. It was pathetic, but I was about to breakdown right there. It took all of my strength to keep listening without storming out to cry in the bathroom.

When will it stop hurting? And what is hurting exactly? Why do I get so emotional? Why can’t I just look back and say “What a beautiful time in my life! What an adventure!”? Why why why?

I talk about this too much. My apologies.

It snowed! Beautiful white snow! I always like to go out with Miss Cairo the first day it snows. She turns into a little puppy when it snows. She jumps as high as she can and digs her face in the snow and rolls around and barks for no apparent reason except that it snowed!

Unfortunately I don’t get to see Cairo today. But Everest is digging holes in the snow outside. She seems to be enjoying it.

What else? I don’t want to be finished.

I’ll be finished.