His name is Spencer, if you didn’t know already.
We met in German class during the Fall 2011 semester while playing a Get-To-Know-You-Game. You know how those games go. You have to walk around the class and ask people how many siblings they have or if they went out of the country during the summer, and if their answer fits one of the things on the list, you write their name down.
Teachers always think these kind of games bring the class together. But really you just want to hurry and fill the damn thing out so you can get back in your seat. You don’t remember anyone’s names afterward. You barely notice them.
But I noticed Spencer. He was the tallest guy in the class. Dark, brown hair. Sturdy chin. Rosy cheeks. Big, green eyes.
He didn’t smile, though. In fact, he had quite a big scowl.
The next class period, Frau Watzinger put us into group work. I was with Spencer. He still scowled. But while we talked about our goals for the class and how to improve in German, I couldn’t stop smiling. He kept making these sarcastic remarks under his breath. He was fast with his words. He was FUNNY.
That was when I realized that his scowl was part of his sarcasm and pessimism. It was all a part of the joke.
A couple class periods later, Spencer sat next to me on a bench outside the building. He said hello, although this time he had no scowl. Just a relaxed expression.
He asked me questions. What I was majoring in, where I was living, how I knew German, etc. etc. And while I was answering his questions, I noticed that he looked into my eyes. He also nodded and responded. He was engaged in what I was saying. He listened.
Also, I saw him smile for the FIRST TIME during this conversation. We were talking about how earlier his boss came up to him and said his jacket was ugly. He told the story and he smiled.
I almost fell over. I don’t know how to say this without sounding super cheesy, but seriously. That smile. It was like boom, butterflies taking over my stomach. Gah! Best Smile. Ever.
A couple weeks later, he asked for my number and asked if I’d like to do something sometime.
I said yes.
We went on our first date to a Haunted House that weekend. He screamed like a girl when a giant mechanical spider fell on his head and I could have died from laughing. Afterwards we grabbed McFlurries and Smoothies and sat in the car and talked.
I told him I didn’t want to get married yet.
Every returned missionary I dated beforehand said something about marriage on the first date. I wanted Spencer to know I wasn’t looking for a husband right now.
Spencer said thank heavens. “I’ve had to pretend I was gay so people would get off my back.”
I didn’t want the date to end. But it was getting later and later and we both had church in the morning. I couldn’t wait to see him on Monday.
On Monday I came in to class and sat next to Spencer.
“Hello, Anne,” he said formally.
“Hello, Spencer.” I said back.
“How was your weekend?”
“Neh,” I said. “Nothing special. How was yours?”
“Neh,” he said. “Could have been better.”
We both shrugged.
Then smiled at each other.
Our second date was dinner at Sho-Gun on Main. It was the first time trying sushi and I loved it. We’ve gone out to sushi several times since then. It was also the first time we sat in front of each other and talked. He smiled a lot. Ugh. Loved it.
On the third date, we didn’t really have a plan. I suggested seeing Twilight.
Hence the reason I don’t plan outings or dates.
Even after two terrible hours of Twilight, we still had a good time. After all, it was the third date.
And somewhere in there we did the formal DTR-determine the relationship, and it went something like:
A: Soo. What are we?
S: I don’t know… Do you want to be in a relationship?
A: Do you want to be in a relationship?
S: I asked you first.
A: Well I brought up the conversation!
S: Okay fine. I wouldn’t mind being in a relationship.
A: You wouldn’t mind.
S: I mean I would like to be in a relationship if you want to be in a relationship.
A: Okay. I think I want to be in a relationship.
S: You think?
A: I mean I want to be in a relationship, I’m just scared.
S: I’m scared shitless.
A: Okay. So. As long as we’re on the same page, I want to be in a relationship.
So. We’re together.
S: Yeah, I think we just determined that.
A: Okay. Now what?
S: …I don’t know, do we have to sign some papers or something?
A: Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Let me get them out of my bag…
S: Wait, you have papers?
A: No, of course I don’t have papers!
A: How about we just kiss instead.
S: Okay, that works.
Now Spencer and I sit at coffee shops and people-watch,
talk talk talk about our individual futures,
say profound things to make the other laugh,
play board games and brag about both of us winning (we are both poor losers(also, I’d like to tell you that I beat him and all of his family members at Ticket to Ride last Sunday)),
eat Sushi on Main,
see the temple Christmas lights,
go to friend parties,
watch movies at home,
spend evenings with the others’ families.
I have enjoyed every bit of my time with Spencer.
I love talking and listening to him.
I am always relaxed.
I have fun.
He makes me laugh all of the time.
He listens to me.
He thinks I’m someone worth listening to.
I feel like my opinion matters when I am with him.
I feel that we can disagree and still be able to understand each other.
I love that he says “I like you” to me all of the time.
And when he says it, he smiles.
I love that he doesn’t take over the conversation and is able to listen when I am on a role.
He says what he thinks.
He doesn’t play mind games.
He is who he is and won’t change for anybody.
He is honest.
I love that I can get in the car and say “I want to tell you all about the Aborigines!” and he says “What? What? Tell me.”
I love that at times he can be a hilarious pessimistic bugger and at other times he is thrilled about life and wants to tell me everything.
I’m thrilled to be with Spencer.