What’s wrong with my eyebrows? I’m a freaking neanderthal!

Why does my hair look like a dirty mop?

We decided to screw our food budget and go out for Arby’s and I was so so so excited to eat my roast beef sandwich and then I poured Spicy Three Pepper Sauce instead of Arby’s sauce all over my sandwich and in case you didn’t know THAT’S A BIG DIFFERENCE. Ruined sandwich! Wasted money! And Spencer was all sweet and said, “Here, have mine” and I said, “No, just eat your damn sandwich!”

Watercoloring apparently isn’t just a bunch of paint scribbles on paper. It’s freaking hard. Why is the only guy in the class the best artist in the class? I’m the tallest in the class, does that count for anything? Why can’t I paint a freaking tree? Why are all of my strokes blobs and everyone’s else strokes strokes?

My teeth are crookeder and crookeder.

My only flats are too small and I don’t have any regular cute freaking darn shoes to freaking wear. I’ve got boots, thanks to Steve Madden…you…you…awful place. At least I got one thing out of you.

Why don’t any of my shirts fit? I’m freaking Winnie the Pooh!

I sat on melted M&Ms and now my only pair of jeans and only pair of expensive clothing have freaking chocolate on the pants.

I’ve got holey underwear! Pun intended.

Crappy make up, crappy shoes, crappy face, crappity crap crappity.


1 Comment

  1. Ha ha ha. I forgot to tell you watercoloring is SO hard!

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