the main reason i didn’t blog was because i was working at the church. i just love to curse once in a while on the blog and working at the church made me feel like i needed to be more careful. maybe i should take myself more seriously and be careful all the time, but man, once in a while, it just feels good to say dickweed.

dickweed. isn’t the real term dickwad? or is there no real term? these are things i should look up to be more culturally aware before i post something, but i don’t care enough. hahaha.

this year the church leaders who run the corporation (or whatever — p.s. it’s 12:33am) allowed women to finally wear pants. it’s funny when these things happen. when i first applied for the church, the pant thing didn’t bug me too much. there were days i was a little peeved. like when i was late, and i saw men running to their full capacity, and i’m running with my skirt bunched in my fist, making sure no one sees my hoohah. yeah, that’s when feminism kicks in for me. promotion? pay raise? psh, who cares about that, i just wanna skip three steps at a time going up the stairs!

but anyway, when we could finally wear pants, i was really pissed off. haha! like, FINALLY. it only took them THIS long. i was more angry once they gave us the pants than anytime before they wouldn’t allow me to wear pants.

my job is craaaazy right now! i sort of got plopped in to a project right when the final edits were due and there is serious work to be done that i’m in charge of, and i don’t have any clue what i’m doing. everyone has been super patient, though, and i’ve been staying late to try to get the hang of it.

i have not seen barclay for a few weeks now. i freaking love her. she makes life so much fun.

i had breakfast with ana on saturday and she brought her four month old baby, blaire. i got to hold blaire while we ate pancakes. she fell asleep in my arms!!! she has these huge brown eyes and black hair.

i’ve been breaking down a little, and i know what i need to do. i have to stop teaching english. i’ve been teaching for four hours every weekend for the past two years, and for two years before i’de been teaching for two hours every weekend. and i got a new calling at church. i’m the relief society activity committee chair. so i have to come up with a party/some sort of activity for the women in my neighborhood with a committee every month. i totally love it, but it is exhausting. you know me. i have to hide for awhile. and a once a month party is just… it’s a lot.

at the beginning of the year i also had writer’s group on saturday mornings and was writing a ton. and then i was focusing on photography with barclay. and then i was working on wanderplan. i just get excited about so many things that i don’t want to sacrifice one of them.

and right now spencer has this terrible work schedule so that if i have ANYTHING i have to do besides work the last two hours, i won’t see spencer until the next day. it is the freaking worst.

so, for the past two years, i’ve worked every single friday from 9-5 or whatever, and then 6-8pm teaching english. then on saturday i teach again from 6-8. and then on sunday i go to church for 3 hours. so saturday HAS to be cleaning/family administration stuff, and then there’s no time to play. so then i’m cramming wanderplan/writing/photography/seeing friends into random hours i could find and ignoring spencer.

anyway. i gotta get rid of one and it’s gonna be english class. i just love those boys so much. sooo freaking much. it’s going to be the worst.

my life is not “the worst.” i’m super excited about life right now. i’m just busy :).

done, done.