Unpublished Post: August 2017

My hard drive has gone missing.

No, that’s a nice way to put it.

I left my hard drive on the train.

Ten years of pictures gone. Ten years of writings gone. Ten years of saved conversations, written out voicemails. Ten years of my overly documented life gone.

Today was the first time in the past month that I had 30 minutes to stop and do nothing. And that’s what I’m thinking about.

I want to rip myself out of this body and run away from myself. I just hate myself right now. I hate me. I hate, I hate, I hate. I hate this because it is so me to do this. It is so Anne. It’s when I’m stressed out of my mind that I do things like this. Where a blurry wall boxes me in and I can’t think straight, I just move. A to B.

I think barfing would do the job too.

I don’t know why I’m writing this or to whom. I just want it here. I just need it documented that

 

 

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