I’m avoiding the house mites.
It started when I found little bumps on my palms and fingers. They showed up one-by-one at the beginning of the summer. I thought they were spider bites. But tonight the bumps are all over my hands. So I googled “little bumps on fingers and hands” and found a picture that looks similar to my hand. It’s called “dyshidrotic eczema.” It’s these tiny blisters caused by seasonal change, stress, or allergens. These bumps can all meet up together and create a big blister, which they have happily created on my pinky finger.
Wikipedia quickly mentioned on the “dyshidrosis” page that a study found a connection between those who have dyshidrosis and those who are allergic to house mites. Not knowing what that meant, I clicked on the “house mites” link which brought up a picture of a black bug with lots of crooked legs and sharp edges. I closed out of the image before I could see more, but I picture the little devil with a monstrous mouth and sharp teeth, ready to feed on my brain. House mites feed on organic stuff. Like me.
So I’m avoiding the house mites. That’s why I’m up. The only thing is, I don’t know how big they are. They might be microscopic. I could clear this all up by reading the page, but I ain’t going back there! So I’ve decided the couch is safe and the bed is not.
Have I told you I’m on anxiety meds? Ha! You’re like “Uhh, are they working?” I’ve been taking them for a month and a half now. It’s my first time taking anxiety meds on a daily basis.
This is when I decided. I was sitting on Hukilau beach in Hawaii. Watching crabs run across the sand. Breathing the salt air and the warm breeze. Cheering when a turtle poked his head out of the water. I thought, I am in paradise. No place on Earth can get better than this. I am in paradise.
And I am still afraid.